


She's a lady

by BacktrackSoCasually



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ilya Devorak, Maybe fluff, She's A Lady, Songfic, a line without a hook, and i am just a boy, female apprentice for purposes of the song, i totally am not writing this during class rn, idk i am trying my best here, ilya needs a hug, just looking into his character, kind of angst, like bittersweet, this is in 3rd person i believe, this is kind of a character study, this might be poetic, this song just reminds me of him too much not to write it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BacktrackSoCasually/pseuds/BacktrackSoCasually
Summary: Stolen kisses in the opalescent moonlight.Soaking our bare feet in the bay.Cold, dead hands in the hands of a lover.I don't ever want this to end.
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Original Female Character(s), Julian Devorak/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	She's a lady

**Author's Note:**

> This song is "A Line Without a Hook," by Ricky Montgomery if you want to listen while reading.

Our hands intertwined, exiting the raven in a quick manner. His quick, long strides were hard to keep up with, but I did the best I could out of desperation. This was not an unusual situation, though I doubt Ilya really had to worry about the crowing of Malak, alerting the patrons of the guards. He's innocent, that much is true. We both know it, but that does not stop us from running. I think he just likes the theatrics. I entertain the thought.

_I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me when we're alone._

The garden on the way to Mazelinka's has always been effervescently populated with plants and weeds and vines of all kinds, and it was no surprise when she pulled me into there. Their soft, shaky hands accompanied my steady ones as they led me away from the entrance. Her laugh, the prettiest sound in the entire world, only seemed to further my intoxication.

_You can hold my hand If no one's home._

It was the little things that declared his affection, despite his loud, theatric confessions that were albeit a daily occurrence. The way he leaned into my touch, the way I could make him a flustered mess just by looking at him. I stopped him, bringing my hands to his waist. He looked at me curiously, and I just shook my head, pulling him in for a soft kiss. I pulled away, him attempting to follow, before I gave him a soft smile.

_Do you like it when I'm away?_

When Ilya was… hanged. Or imprisoned. It was some of the worst pain I’ve felt. I longed to hold his hand again, to fall into his arms after a long day, to cuddle up with him in a tangle of limbs, seeking the comfort of a lover’s touch. Unshed tears constantly clouded my mind. Stolen looks at him behind the bars of a prison cell he didn’t deserve. I love him, I love him, I love him. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

_If I went and hurt my body, baby, would you love me the same?_

“Let me see the bite,” I demanded, taking the large pot from his hand. The skin was smooth, nearly unscathed under his bloody shirt. I furrowed my eyebrows as he swayed, but said nothing until his composure broke, muttering something about the bite. I held onto his arm, either to keep him upright, or to steady my nerves. He gave me a rakish smirk, and I was too worried to meet his enthusiasm, looking into his eyes. He looked exhausted, and I looked down where the bite was. He followed my line of sight and tsked. “My dear, you have no faith in me.”

_I can feel all my bones coming back, and I'm craving motion. Mama never really learns how to live by herself._

He stood atop the ship, looking across the vast water. I felt a warm feeling of admiration creep into my heart, and I smiled at him. He was truly in his element, and it was beautiful. No more murder cases, no more hangings. Just a life full of dramatic reenactments of pirate stories, and actually living these stories. Of late nights in the gallows, and prancing and singing around taverns we come across. Though I doubt nothing will taste as bad as a Salty Bitter. His eyes met mine, and he gave his signature smirk, causing me to laugh.

_It's a curse and it's growing._

I felt my stomach drop as she plunged into the cold, red water. It wasn’t hard to get her out, but she was already convulsing. The vampire eel hooked tightly onto their abdomen. She was bleeding heavily, and I doubt she could stand. I held onto them firmly, counting as I released them from the leech’s grasp, throwing it into the water. Running from the grounds near the south end, her in my arms. I had to make this quick or she wouldn’t survive.

I lightly lifted their shirt, grimacing. It was worse than I thought, blood staining my hands. What a mess. I firmly held her down, not that she needed it. She was gravely still and I got a sickening sense of deja vu. It wasn’t hard to heal the wound, holding my hands against it. I felt a sharp pain through my side, and it took me a second to catch my breath.

_You're a pond and I'm an ocean._

I watched her on the gondola, her hands brushing the water. Their eyes were filled with a sense of childish wonder, almost. “First time on a boat?” I teased.

“To my memory, yes,” She answered, grinning. I smiled back, feeling a pain of guilt, reminded of the fact that I couldn’t save them.

_Oh, all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around and I've found a way to kill the sounds, oh._

I watched him improvise from behind the curtains. The sight would’ve been almost comical, if the situation we were in wasn’t so dire. I don’t know much about the count, and I don’t remember anything, but I know he wasn’t the most liked public official. But Julian… Ilya… He couldn’t have killed him. I refuse to believe it. This felt so surreal yet serious at the same time. I stepped out of the theatre, feeling nauseous.

Is it… is it wrong to feel the way about him that I do? I don't want him to get hurt. I wish he would be able to leave the city, leave this all behind. Even if he’s guilty… It doesn't matter to me. I want him to be safe.

_Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you, I need you here to stay._

I looked up from the tavern booth, my vision blurring. A figure stood in front of me, but it was hard to make out their face.

“Oh Ilya,” I heard her disappointed voice.

I gave them a slurred smile. “Hello, my dear,” I greeted, tripping over my words. I downed the rest of my Salty Bitter, leaning heavily against the table. She lightly tapped my cheek, and I met her gaze. They gave me an understanding look before they kissed my forehead, and embraced me. I held onto her tightly, refusing to let unshed tears fall.

_I broke all my bones that day I found you crying at the lake._

I remember her, barely… before the plague. She was younger, obviously. Their hair was shorter, she never smiled. A victim of a harsh past. One that plagues her memories no more.

She sat at the docks, dark at night, her face in her hands. I shouldn’t bother them, after all. She is merely a coworker… and yet I was pulled towards them. Tears streamed down her red cheeks as she turned. Their eyes widened and they desperately wiped at their face. “Ilya…” She breathed.

_Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden?_

Things were going good, weren’t they?

I had the same question swirling through my mind after talking to Asra, after Julian left. I thought after the first few kisses, he’d realize what this was. Maybe it wasn’t the same for him. He’s not dangerous, or bad or anything of the sort. I felt a strange pang of guilt. Did I say something wrong?

_Oh, and if I could take it all back. I swear that I would pull you from the tide._

The hanged man’s realm was confusing to navigate, and seeing Ilya there… The pain was immeasurable. I wish I had tried harder to save him. He doesn’t deserve this. I called out to him, but he couldn’t hear my voice. The raven shushed me. This was a decision Ilya had to make on his own. One that I had to watch.

_Darling, when I'm fast asleep, I've seen this person watching me._

I remember being feverish, as the plague finally set into my bones and my skin. I think I hallucinated, and I know I passed out many times. I prayed, to who, I don’t know. I asked for a cure. To somehow stop this plague, in me, in everyone else. I didn’t want to die.

He came to me, in the dark of the night. The raven. He answered my desperate pleas and prayers. To stop the death of too many others… required the death of one.

_Saying, "Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Tell me, is it worth it?" Oh_

I took his hand in mine, squeezing lightly. Ilya met my eyes, guilt ever present in his voice.

“I… I don’t deserve you,” He lamented.

I shook my head. “You don’t have to deserve me. You deserve to be happy. And if I… If this makes you happy… Then it’s worth it. You deserve this.”

He only sighed, opening his mouth to argue. I squeezed his hand, batting my eyelashes at him. He froze, looking down at me. Before he masked his blush with a rakish grin. I lightly kissed his jaw, and he melted under my touch.

_Guess there is something, and there is nothing, There is nothing in between_

“Behind you,” A voice drawled.

I froze, hesitating before quickly grabbing the nearby jar that used to be filled with herbs. I threw it at him, successfully breaking it and knocking the mask off of him, and causing him to grab at his forehead in pain.

He sucks in his teeth, muttering, “You’re a tricky one, aren’t you.”

_And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer, watching over me, he's singing_

I know three things about my past. My homeland, just outside the Annyala gate, was destroyed during the endless wars. My shop, and my apartment, used to be my aunt’s shop. And I, myself, used to be a traveling dancer after the capture and pillaging of my homeland. No more, no less. I don’t know if it’s for better or for worse, but Asra insists it’s for the better. It’s a clean start.

_"She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy"_

I watched their figure dance in the square, enraptured by the way they moved so gracefully. The bracelets upon their wrists jingled with their movements, and the band itself seemed almost enraptured by their movements. Their long skirts flowed with their movements, their tight curls bouncing around, and framing their face. They were absolutely enrapturing to watch. But I had other matters to attend to, and alas, I had better catch up with Nazali before time runs out.

_He's singing, "She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a hook"_

The ballroom buzzed with energy, and the chatter of excited guests. I heard the ever-familiar scoff of Consul Valerius, and quickly changed direction, looking for those auburn curls I adored so much. Who’s have thought it’d be so hard to spot a man so tall. I finally spot him in the corner, chatting eagerly with Pasha. I smiled, making a beeline towards them.

“Do pardon the interruption,” I began, “But I believe Ilya owes me a dance.” He grinned, and I looked at Portia who had almost a feline-like expression of fondness on her face.  
I dragged him out to the ballroom floor, as soon as a Vesuvian folk song was played by the band. I gave him a cheeky grin, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. I grabbed his elbow, spinning a bit with him, feeling the lilt of the 9/8 meter. 1 2, 1 2, 123. He seemed to be doing the same until we were nearly mirroring each other, adding movements here and there, continuing the rhythm. We spun and danced and laughed, barely paying attention to the other groups in the room. I heard a few scoffs from the noblemen and almost laughed at it. It was just Ilya and I, dancing and twirling and singing and swashbuckling against the world. And I don’t plan on giving this feeling up any time soon.

_“Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you, I need you here to stay. I broke all my bones that day I found you, Crying at the lake. Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden, oh, And if I could take it all back, I swear that I would pull you from the tide.”_


End file.
